The six forgotten gifts that make the best of this season

While some may have parties after parties, our family holidays are sometimes really low key and cozy. Our families live far away and we sometimes visit them during the summer vacation. Hence, some holidays are spent amongst the four of us. You might think: ‘’this must be boring’’, but we like it just the way it is.  We are social beings, but too much of it, all at once, throw us off balance. The fact is: we’re homey. It is a good thing to like to stay home when you are a homesteader! Oh, and we are not addicted to shopping malls.  We could even say we’re allergic to them! When one keeps the noise away, the true gifts of life seem to shine out.

Homemade gifts

Did you give or receive a homemade gift this holiday? I received a few of these and was so pleased by them. What I realized is that these gifts are the ones that brought me to tears, thinking about the intention behind it and the time spent on creating something special, just for me. When you make some gifts yourself, you also learn about their values. Time is probably the most precious currency these days. So when someone decides to create from their heart, whatever the result, it means a lot. We started shifting our gift giving traditions for holidays and birthdays a while ago and it always evolve, depending on how busy our lives are. However, we always put emphasis on making at least one gift for each of our family member and we also give second hand on some occasions. Gift wrapping is not something we spend money on, either. We meticulously keep and reuse gift bags, all types of paper and make our own creation. We use yarn and fabric, the kids’ finger knitting, and clothe tags and transform them. All this fuss about the outside and after 30 seconds, it goes in the trash! So when we reuse and repurpose, we also give to the earth.

Experiential gifts

Last week, I told you about  my holiday wish list. I was thrilled to receive what I asked for: some family help to declutter and reorganize the house. Hubby and the kids gave me four hours of their time to help with whatever project I have in mind. In only one hour we did so much! I will also have a special date with my husband to eat spicy food, something I recently complained about when we eat homemade food: the kids don’t like it and so we forgo the hot peppers. I don’t know about you, and all the other parents out there, but sometimes, I still like to do things my way. As parents, we devote a lot of our time to make our children happy and provide what they need. One should not forget however, that happy parents make happy kids.

My kids also got a one on one date with one parent. This special attention is something they love! When we divert our money to put into experiential gifts, we have a smaller impact on the earth and most of the time we foster our local economy. These deeper connections we create make us stronger as a family and those cherished memories stay with us forever.

Limited screen time

To start with, we are not big on TV and media in general. The kids rarely sit in front of a screen. But both adults in the house use the computer daily for hours as this is our primary work tool. This is refreshing to stop the cell phone ring, to unplug and recharge ourselves rather than these devices. It is amazing to realize what one can accomplish when we are not hooked to any of these ‘’machines’’. What I found this last week is how much I miss this balance between mind and body. I can be in a productive mode and work all day long in front of my computer or tablet. Yet, when I take the time to stop long enough, I feel the need for….

Unstructured free time

This is something I strongly advocate for kids nowadays as they have their parents’ schedule to follow. If you add to that all the extracurricular activities, sports, practice, homework, etc. there is not that much time left to be a kid anymore. Most children have forgotten how to play. Adults too. I think we can all benefit from this hidden gift: when there is no schedule to follow, no goal to achieve, no deadline, we tend to do what we feel like doing at this very moment. This is called freedom and joy. We used our unstructured time to:

·      Play with new toys/use new gifts;

·      Reconnect with the land/nature/ourselves;

·      Doing what we like most;

·      Be creative and crafty;

·      To think about this last year and what is ahead.

Real connections

When we have more time on our hands, we can create more meaningful interactions with people and have real deep conversations. A while ago, farmers had a tough life, working hard most of the year. On the other hand, they followed nature cycles naturally and would go to bed earlier, rest and play, process their harvest, and plan ahead for the next season during the winter. This is the time when my grandfather would play music and sign with neighbors, as my mother told me. Because of all that technology provides us with, we no longer stop. When we stop and let go of planners and watches for a while, we can recreate that space to reacquaint ourselves with old friends and family, thus deepening relationships.

Heightened sensual experience and happy reminiscence

Yeah, you may have had another idea than the one I intend to talk about here…that is alright, this is probably part of the list of activities we have more time to do as well. But here is my point. Just yesterday, I went ice skating with another family and I was chatting with the dad about our childhood souvenirs while some music from the seventies and eighties was playing.  It made me thought about the family traditions and rituals I witnessed as a kid.

If you have kept some family traditions intact and reflect about their meaning, you might as well go back in time and remember some of your best childhood memories. It may sound funny, but I came to realized that as adults, we do not use our senses as much as children do. We shut them down; we are too busy to stop. The sad thing about this is that memories are easily triggered by our senses. How many of you can remember the smell of your favorite dinner, or your grandma’s perfume? How well could you described the texture and taste of melted ice cream in your mouth? How often do you stop to look at a sunset or sunrise in amazement with the beauty of the colors blending together? When have you listen to nature for the last time?

I did more of all of these in the last weeks than I did for a long time. It felt so good. We need to remember what it is to be alive. Life’s meaning has changed because we decided to attain goals and feel like we always need more, better, faster. If instead of trying to fill the void inside we are courageous enough to take a peek of what we have and who we really are, the gift we will long for will not be material. The holiday break away from my usual life reminded me of that.