Succeeding at your resolutions is more about feelings than goals
''No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.'' Albert Einstein
As some of you know, this is part 2 of 4 about goal mapping for the New Year. Last week I mentioned how being gracefulabout our experience will definitely change the outcome. We envision our 2013 as a trip and last time I suggested starting by describing where you are and then where you want to go. Some people may have done it the other way around. That is fine, as long as you enjoyed the process. That is exactly what we will talk about today: feelings.
My husband and I stumble upon the Desire Map (no business affiliation) and decided it was time for us to find a new way of mapping our goals. We succeeded at it before but our consistency was not the same the last few years and we needed to make this fun. What I knew for sure is that I wanted to be more joyful in life as I felt I had become too responsible and serious and lost that spark that was so bright when I was… let’s say a bit younger. I already started changing a few things I new helped me to get back in that beloved state: listening more to music that gets me grooving and wearing colors that vibrate with how I feel, lots of them!
For the first time this fall, I went to a talk by Anthony Robbins and was really charged after the event. One of the phrases that stayed with me was ''Change your state, change your life''. He talked a how motion change e-motions and made us move many times. How incredible it was to witness the change of attitude in the crowd! Once we understand that emotions or feelings[i] are what drive us, goal mapping strategies that do not work need to be changed.
If you have started your mapping process now is a good time to read back what you wrote for the five year vision. Look at each area of your life and jot down words that describe how you feel about it. Then ask yourself why? And maybe you will need to ask yourself the why of the why until you get to the core feeling attached to a specific idea. Let’s use one of my personal examples. I wrote this like journaling in the present tense even though this is what I want in five years. There is a lot of resource out there that can explain you the power of words.
5:00 am I started the day refreshed after a good night’s sleep. I stayed in bed for some thankful moments, drank my lemon water, and went on my meditation cushions. After a shower and a light breakfast, I let ink stream down on my journal pages.
6:45 am I headed to my favorite yoga studio in town for some spiritually engaging yet physically challenging practice. Connecting with like minded people is always enriching my day.
9:30 am I took the next few hours to write. I am working on my second book. Another best seller, I am sure. Ideas flows easily to me as my brain and heart are connected.
11:30 am Lunch with family outside in the garden. This is a sunny day not too hot, not too cold. I still enjoy the fresh raspberry lemonade made from our harvest and can feel the sweet pink liquid cascading down my throat.
1:00 pm I have a few mentoring phone calls helping other living their purpose in life as well as getting some insight from my mentor as well.
4:00 pm Time to call the day off. I enjoy a short refreshing swim with the kids and end up in the garden to monitor the new fruit trees’ growth and harvest vegetable for tonight’s dinner. We spend some time sharing as a family and enjoyed a night in front the fireplace, looking atstars.
It might not resonate with you because this is my script but can you feel the difference between the last two sentences:
I enjoy short refreshing swim with the kids and end up in the garden to monitor the new fruit trees’ growth and harvest vegetable for tonight’s dinner. We spend some time sharing as a family and enjoyed a night in front the fireplace looking at stars.
and setting a goal like:
Invest $25,000 to landscape the backyard and build an outside kitchen by September 2017
The difference is that the first one is generating feelings. You can close your eyes and feel the warmth of the sun on your face while dipping your toes in the swimming pool's cold water. You can feel the joy, love and accomplishment such a day felt. The heart is connected with the mind! Bingo!
So I came up with my five feelings and did a lot of investigations before settling for these words. A dictionary is mandatory here. I used an online one, traveling back and forth between words to find the refinement that would make the word be exactly how I wanted to feel. I remember that the word inspiring was strong for me so I looked it up. I also asked myself why I want to inspire. After some research, I realized that for me it means to be so joyful and happy that just being meant living my life would inspire other people to be their best self. Why? Because I was raised with a lot of negative feelings like inadequacy, not good enough, impossible and I fought against that world view because I knew deep down that life was meant to be more than lack and struggles. Finally, I went from inspiring to radiant an di could not find better ways to express it.
So here we are with five core desired feelings one for each area of our lives or what l realized for me, five that can be interchangeably used. Then it is up to you to personalize how to depict them. I chose to add the definition to it and found a color that vibrates with the word. I also started to create my board on Pinterest. Make it fun! Make It you! The best part about this is when you feel these emotions then you fulfill your intentions, even if your goal was not exactly achieved as stated. That is the best part of it. How do you fell about trying to work with feelings? Is this thrilling or scary?
[i] These words are used interchangeably here as most people do, even though there is a real difference between the two. These resources may help you decipher what they really mean .